So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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