I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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