Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
