Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize