HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
