So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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