Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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