I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
