yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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