I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
