This girl is more easily done than said...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
