You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
