Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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