why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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