i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
