apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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