i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
