what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
