So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
