I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
