I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
handjob tips. give me some.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
