I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
