kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think people are normalizing furries
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
