you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
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Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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