No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
