i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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