She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
