I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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