I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
