I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
As shirtless as possible
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Boobs are out for the taking
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I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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