I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
