you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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