so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
