i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize