idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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