never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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