My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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