Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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