Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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