She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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