I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
