The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
