guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
After last night, I could never be a politician.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
