it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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