I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
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after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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