I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Green mimosas i think yes
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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