did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
