whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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