oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
