"it" just moved
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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