i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize