I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
