from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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