Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You smell like stripper and shame
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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