time to smoke my breakfast
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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