My sheets look like a crime scene.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
