There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
