I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
