you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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