So drunk its hurt
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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