It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
