For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
