I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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