Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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