Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
