I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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