im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
