I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If I die, sorry about rent.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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