This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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